You’ve had a hard day. Sometimes, don’t you just want to hear—“I’m sorry, that’s really hard” instead of “you can do it!” or “just keep trying harder!” Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about optimistic thinking, but it doesn’t always help to be constantly bombarded with advice instead of empathy. This might be a shout out for all you guys just trying to be helpful…well, it’s not all the time. We girls don’t always need a suggestion to our problems, we’re smart cookies. We can figure out our own problems, unless we ask directly for advice. Often times, we just want you to listen.
But in all fairness, I was told the sickeningly sweet positive words of wisdom like, “Just keep a positive attitude!” last night and while I hate to admit it after my previous paragraph, it did help me out a little. It was also suggested that I should “meet new people” when I went out, and well, I guess the advice worked, because I did. So maybe there is some value to these comments…maybe.
My roommate enlightened me last night on the irony of how happy suggestions do not always lead to happy thoughts. It’s called the tyranny of happiness. I think that’s the perfect phrasing for it. Shouldn’t words of encouragement make us feel better? Not necessarily. There is certainly a time and a place. So maybe on the days when the Nancys are a little more negative and the Debbies are a little more down, we should mellow out a little ourselves when trying to empathize.
The Sunny Girl, Lauren Cook